Book 80 - Omg Gretchen

Title: Dare to Lead Author: Brené Brown Genre: self help

I started this book with a whole lot of eye-rolling and impatient sighing, and ended it with a vigorous sense of purpose. NOT A BAD TURNOUT. So, keeping with that pattern, let's start with what didn't work.

1. Too much figurative language and use of examples to illustrate points. Now, sometimes this is effective in that it instills a more casual tone, and can ground lofty theories in something that is real and relateable for the reader. However, more often than not I found its use distracting and confusing in this book. Metaphors would start out clear, but then I'd be two pages into the same example and trying to relate it to what Brown was trying to explain. It almost felt as though by trying to dumb down the concepts for mass consumption, the integrity of the concept itself was lost. Tell me about the 5 aspects of shame, not some convoluted arena allegory where the cheap seats are where the shame gremlins live - not only do those stories cloud the lesson, but Brown also risks alienating readers who don't have the experiences to which she's referencing.

2. The goddamn buzzwords. Namely, rumble. As I'm sure is the case with many leadership/self-help books, the author strives to create a new vocabulary, or at least add to the current one, as a way to provide readers with the tools to talk about/use the strategies and theories in the book. That being said, some of Brown's terms rubbed me the wrong way, especially since they play on grammar AND were highly figurative. Rumble with vulnerability, dare greatly, rise strong, lean into values...live laugh love, anyone? Rumble especially pulled me out of the book, mostly because I started to imagine Brown and a group of people pumping their arms and doing fast feet to quickly close into a circle. Probably not what she intended by that term...

Now. Let's leave all that behind, and look at why this book is great:

1. The trust stuff.

I love the idea that, among other things, trust is built on small moments and on asking for help. Someone who remembers the small stuff (my coffee order, my partner's name, a snack I like [the key to my being appears to mainly be through food/drink]) is going to worm their way into my heart much faster and more solidly than someone who says, "trust me". Brown also talks about how supervisors are more likely to give challenging projects to subordinates who have a history if asking for help/support, because they trust that those people a) know their own skills/competencies, and b) have a strong enough relationship with their supervisors to ask for help without the fear of judgment. Which is hilarious, because as an employee asking for help can feel like an admission of weakness of deficiency - at least in a trust-lacking culture.

2. Living into your values. So this is the part that lit a fire under my ass and has resonated throughout my personal and professional life (at least since like 2 days ago when I finished the book). Living into your values. Brown says to pick two values - just two - that really speak to you. She then walks the reader through exercises to define behaviours that align with those values, and behaviours that don't. Those behaviour statements can then be used to set boundaries, and to help you figure out what living in accordance with what's important to you even looks like. I've done some of the work and let me tell you, the application has been verrry interesting. I would say this part of values makes the whole book worth reading.

I'll end with this quote from Brown, which really is the thesis of the novel:

True belonging requires you to be who you are.

I like that.

Rating: 🤺🤺🤺🤺 /5